You have a disorganized, rude, and inappropriate supervisor who always wants to throw you under the bus. You’re sick of it and are afraid they may jeopardize your job. Here’s what you do:
Before I begin, I wanted to shout out all my friends in the US, Russia, Sweden, Denmark, Turkey, Canada, UK, Romania, Germany, and Ireland!! Thank you so much for visiting my page and taking time out of your day to read my tips, rants, and raves! I appreciate you and would love to hear your comments (I have Google translate). Big hugs to you!
Read your handbook and job description – Upon hire, you must, I say, you must read your employee handbook and make sure you know all of your responsibilities and rights. If you ever find yourself arguing with your supervisor, look to your handbook and see what the next steps are. If there are none, email HR and write a clear statement of facts. The handbook will help you perform your best and prevent you from overlooking important strategies in problem solving situations.
Try to move forward – Sometimes people have bad days, and that’s okay. But make sure they are aware that you are not afraid to speak up for yourself and that you want to work things out. Always show cooperation. If you do this, it will deter them from trying to start arguments with you.
Be polite– Even when you don’t mean it. Do your best to be polite and stick to the facts. No matter the issue, show your professional conduct at all times despite others’ lack thereof. Why? Because they will have nothing to use against you. People make mistakes, but people are terminated for things other than work performance. Lying, gossiping, and creating a hostile work environment to name a few.
Write everything down– As soon as something happens, write it down. I know that sounds time-consuming, but the truth is (I deal with cases like these at work) when your supervisors ask you the details of events, it’s super important that you write and recollect things in detail the moment it happens, or at least within the first few hours. This information will impact your inquiries/concerns or complaints.
Email HR:HR is there to protect youand the company; don’t forget that. Speak with your HR manager or hire up about having a team meeting. Remember, you do not attack the other party; that weakens your complaint. Explain the facts contemporaneously so they can analyze. If you attack your manager, it will look like a personal vendetta, and that’s where HR may see this as an attack and could very well not want this to happen with other co-workers. Don’t do this. Show them clear examples of the issues that violate the company handbook, but do not, I repeat, do not attack. Simply point out the problems, and be willing to work with moving forward. Be sure to state in your inquiry that you want to make sure that you can both work professionally and kind with one another, and you are taking all necessary actions help assist with this.
Earlier this week, I spoke with one of my girlfriends. She’s going through a painful realization that her partner is no longer the one and feels helpless, guilty even for feeling this way after everything they’ve been through.
Let me start off by saying that wanting to be happy is not a selfish act. Staying with someone because you feel bad for them and wanting to please them at your expense is not a long-term solution. Remember that one of you will be happy -until the other is not. Make a clean break and give yourself and your [ex] partner a chance at true happiness.
If you’re unsure about a potential new partner or are feeling this way about your current relationship, I’ve written out a few things that can help you determine if you’re making the right decision. In the end, my best advice is to tell yourself the truth.
Do we share similar values? Ensure that the person you’re with is on the same wavelength, but how do you know? Values are principles that you live by or aspire to have that ensure the quality of life acceptable to you. For instance, things like trust, compassion, integrity mean a lot to me. Make sure you know which ones matter to you.
Do you want/like pets? – My partner knows this about me; my one true loyal friend is my dog, and I will always have a dog in my home. Are pets essential to own? Some people have gotten divorced over their pets, even left them withinheritance. #petsrule
Do we share the same religious views? – Make sure that you’re comfortable accepting your partner’s religion. What if neither of you are religious? If they are, would that be an issue?
Do political affiliations matter to you? – This is a crunchy topic. I’m not the best at speaking politics; I’d rather listen. Are you willing to feel comfortable around someone with opposing perspectives in terms of politics? Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, but make sure that you know that.
Do you respect me? – Have they been the first ones to ever treat you with care and admiration (respect)? Is it conditional? Do they raise their voice in a particular way that makes you feel vulnerable? If so, why do you tolerate it? Do they walk away when you’re trying to get the point across? Do they leave you on read for days on end to spite you, instead of trying to communicate with you? Have they ever gotten physical? What would you do if they did? Respect is huge. If they don’t respect you, boundaries are non-existent. Remember that.
How important is physical attraction to you?Physical attraction can be significant. I don’t mean in the cookie-cutter sense (model thin or buff as a UFC fighter), but more of what you find beautiful. Maybe it’s the face, a smile, a particular body part. Be honest with yourself. In the past, I dated someone charming, but I found him to be quiteunattractive. I thought I was doing myself a favor by not being vain, but that was silly of me. In trying to do the “right” thing, loving someone for their personality only, conforming to society’s ethical and moral standards*, I caved and did it. I gained dissatisfaction and unhappiness. All to make myself be a better person. No matter how charming he was, how well he dressed, and kind he was, I couldn’t see myself happy with him. Know yourself. If a physical attraction doesn’t matter, then your pond is a lot bigger than others’. I tip my hat off to you, sir/ma’am!
Family: Do you like my family/ does your family like me? – Do you get along with their family? Are they judgmental or welcoming? What about your family’s opinion of them? How many children do you want? Can you see yourself with someone who has children from a previous marriage? Do you want a big or small family? Have you told them the truth about kids?
Do you have any debt I should be aware of? How does this affect your relationship? Do they need to have millions in the bank, or willing to be with someone blue/white-collar worker? How much does this concern you?
What does kindness mean to you? Do they snap their fingers at the waiter? Do they say thank you often? Are they happy to collaborate in the kitchen if you clean/cook? What level of kindness is acceptable/unacceptable to you?
Where you listening to what I said?– Listening is a virtue, and that’s something you want to make sure your partner does. Do they listen to you when you’re talking about the exciting things in your day? Do they cut you off? Do they linger with their phone tied to their hands?
If any of these questions made you hesitate, it’s important to recognize them. Your partner should be the one to silence your insecurities not encourage them. Questions that represent your lifestyle and values are important to discuss. If if you are committing to a life with someone, you need to be sure that they’re willing to accept you for who you are and what you stand for.
Have you seen those IG pages with pristine homes or offices that are clean and perfectly organized? The kind that make you look at your space and and think, “-shit”.
Covid-19 has transformed our home into one big birdcage. It’s where we work, exercise, sleep, eat, and even vacation. But how do you relax when there is so much junk everywhere?
I’ve told my sister about the idea of decluttering her apartment, and she tells me, “I don’t plan on staying here that much longer, maybe a year or so.” But that’s too long to wait! Sitting in a space that is not peaceful, organized, and calming is not worth the money you’re saving.
I’m here to help you organize it; it will be a therapeutic process and change how you feel for the better.
The best way to declutter; start with these simple steps:
Divide the home/office into rooms. Then divide those individual rooms into spaces. (ex: bedroom or a kitchen office)
Once you’ve selected a room (ex: bedroom/kitchen office) – Start categorizing the space.
Drawers – You will start cleaning all drawers in the space first.
Closets – You will start cleaning all drawers in the space second.
Visible space areas – You will start cleaning all v/a in the space third.
Then divide whatever you find in the three categories above into 3 categories.
Things I still use/need.
Things I have not used in 6 months/want to give away.
Things that have no meaning/value (Ex: an old vacation globe that takes up space, a notebook that collects dust, an old I love LA shirt you don’t use).
Know your color palette/style – Not only do you have to throw things out, but you also have to ask yourself, “does this go with the color scheme in this room?”. If not, your place will look like a Macy’s showroom.
Grab a trash bag, and promise to fill it – Fill the bag with things you don’t need and be honest with yourself. How does said item provide peace and meaning in your space?
Create a monthly decluttering schedule – Once a month, commit to decluttering your space. Set a minimal amount of items to either chuck or donate, ex: 5 items per month. The more you do this, the less hours you’ll spend cleaning through mountains of junk. Remember, your time is expensive.
Benefits: This will ease your mental anxiety over the space and help you find things you always seem to misplace, creating real savings; your time. We spend so much time that we can never get back doing things we could have avoided. By keeping your space organized and clean, it will free your mind and time to do what you truly love!
You will not be able to do this in one sitting, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself. By decluttering your space, you’ll be able to live/work in an area that fills you with comfort, security, and tranquility. You will also find unique items you forgot you had and help you let go of things that no longer suit your lifestyle or decor. You’ll even think twice before buying!